Holiday Visits Can Reveal the Need for Home Care

Thanksgiving brings families together, sometimes after months of seeing one another mostly through phone calls, texts, and video chats. That extended time together can reveal changes that were difficult to notice from a distance. An aging parent may sound perfectly capable during a 15-minute phone call while quietly struggling with meals, housekeeping, medications, mobility, or personal care.

The National Institute on Aging notes that phone calls and messages are not always enough to determine whether an older adult needs additional help. Spending time in the person’s home can reveal important changes.[1]

As you visit aging parents or other senior relatives this holiday season, pay attention to what everyday life looks like.

What to Look for During a Holiday Visit

No single item necessarily means someone needs home care. Several changes appearing together, or a noticeable decline since your last visit, deserve a closer look.

• The house has become difficult to manage. Look for unusual clutter, dirty dishes, overflowing laundry, spoiled food, neglected maintenance, or rooms that were previously kept tidy. The National Institute on Aging specifically recommends considering whether the home remains reasonably clean and free of clutter.[1]

• There isn’t much food in the house that is in-date. An empty refrigerator, little fresh food, or meals consisting mostly of whatever is easiest to open may indicate difficulty shopping or preparing meals. Older adults may need assistance with grocery shopping and meal preparation while continuing to live independently.[2]

• There has been unexplained weight loss. Clothing suddenly fitting loosely or an obvious loss of weight deserves attention. The National Institute on Aging advises that sudden, unintended weight loss can signal a medical problem and should be discussed with a healthcare professional.[3]

• Personal hygiene has changed. Unwashed hair, body odor, repeatedly wearing soiled clothing, or difficulty dressing appropriately may indicate that bathing and dressing have become harder. These are among the everyday activities used to evaluate whether additional assistance may be helpful.[1,2]

• Getting around looks harder. Watch how your loved one gets out of a chair, walks through the house, uses stairs, and gets in and out of a vehicle. Falls, difficulty walking, and changes in mobility are signs the National Institute on Aging identifies as reasons to consider additional support.[1]

• Medications appear disorganized. Multiple partially used pill bottles, missed doses, duplicate medications, or uncertainty about what should be taken may warrant a conversation. Medication management can become one of the challenges of living independently.[1]

• There are new signs of confusion. Repeating the same questions, getting lost in familiar places, unusual difficulty following a conversation, poor judgment, or noticeable personality changes deserve attention. Significant changes in memory, thinking, or decision-making should be discussed with a healthcare professional.[1]

• The person seems unusually isolated. Loneliness and social isolation can also signal that more support would improve everyday life.[1] Companionship, errands, transportation, or simply having someone regularly present can make a meaningful difference.

Look at the Whole Picture

Holiday visits can be hectic. One burned Thanksgiving dish or a pile of laundry does not establish that someone can no longer manage independently. Look for patterns. Perhaps Mom’s house is still tidy, she cooks regularly, handles her medications, drives safely, and moves around confidently. She may be doing quite well. Perhaps Dad has lost weight, stopped grocery shopping regularly, struggles to get into the shower, and admits that changing the bed linens has become exhausting. Taken together, those observations tell you much more.

Some concerns also call for medical attention. Sudden confusion, unexplained weight loss, repeated falls, significant weakness, or a substantial change in health should be discussed with a healthcare professional.

Starting the Conversation

Finding a problem is often easier than discussing it. The National Institute on Aging recommends approaching the conversation by mentioning a specific concern without sounding critical. For example, instead of announcing that a parent can no longer take care of the house, you might say: “I’ve noticed there isn’t much food in the refrigerator. Has getting to the grocery store become difficult?”[1]

Then listen.

A parent who resists the broad idea of “needing care” may readily admit that carrying groceries has become difficult, showering feels unsafe, or preparing dinner every night is tiring. That gives the family a concrete problem to solve.

A Little Help Can Preserve Independence

Recognizing a need for assistance does not automatically mean an older adult must leave home.

We offer a wide range of services that can support aging in place, including help with bathing, dressing, meal preparation, grocery shopping, laundry, housekeeping, transportation, and companionship. Non-medical home care can provide some of that assistance on a schedule tailored to the person’s needs. For one senior, that may mean help several mornings each week. Another may benefit from daily assistance with meals, personal care, and household routines. Getting some help with the activities that have become difficult can allow an older adult to conserve energy for the parts of life they still enjoy and manage independently.

Holiday visits are a time for meals, traditions, stories, and family. They are also an opportunity to see how an aging loved one is really doing. If this year’s visit reveals that everyday life has become harder, pay attention. A thoughtful conversation and a little well-chosen assistance may help make the coming year safer, easier, and more independent.

REFERENCES

1. National Institute on Aging. Does an older adult in your life need help? National Institutes of Health. Available from: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/caregiving/does-older-adult-your-life-need-help

2. National Institute on Aging. Aging in place: growing older at home. National Institutes of Health. Available from: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/aging-place-growing-old-home

3. National Institute on Aging. Maintaining a healthy weight. National Institutes of Health. Available from: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/maintaining-healthy-weight

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